Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Book Review #15

I'm doing more than one story this time and talk about some of my favorite fairytale villains. Grimm's fairytales originate from a lot dark and raunchy stories adults would tell each other to pass the time. They were written down and eventually passed off to be children's stories, which I find to be hilarious because they are adult entertainment. Murder? Sex? Violence? These ain't no Disney fairytales.

1. Bluebeard (image found here)
Let's be straight people. Bluebeard is a crazy serial killer of women. He has the bodies of all his previous wives hanging on hooks in a locked room. He gives each new wife a key and orders her to never enter the room, all the while relying on their curiosity to take over and make them open the door. Then he kills the wives that disobey him.

2. The witch from Hansel and Grettel(image found here)
She is not only a witch, but cannibal that has a taste for small and succulent children fattened up with candy. Her plans are so elaborate that she makes a house out of candy to lure in small impressionable children. Did I mention that the children were left to die in the forest by their parents? It's either eat or be eaten in this story.

3. The sea witch from the Little Mermaid
(image found here)
The see witch give the little mermaid what she wants, but at a price. To be fair, the little mermaid is kind of an idiot. She is told before she takes the magic potion to become human that the price will be to feel like she is constantly walking on swords and bleed a lot. Also, she has to kiss her true love in a certain amount of time or die. Guess what? She doesn't. Then she dies. The sea witch is pure evil.

4. The witch from Snow White(image found here)
This is one clever witch. She sends out an assassin to kill Snow White, but when that fails she gets creative. The witch dresses like a peddler and sells Snow White some lace, ties it tightly her waist so she faints and leaves her to die. She does this again with a poison comb and a poison apple. Snow White falls for it stupidly every single time (even after the dwarves tell her to just stop answering the door and to not accept anything from anyone).

These are the kind of stories that are fun to tell around a campfire, especially when people in the audience assume you're going to read them a Disney version.

Do you have a favorite villain?


Dewi said...

I love gruesome fairytales! You shouldn't marry a guy with a blue beard and disappearing wives and if you're stupid, you die. It makes way more sense! Maybe you'll like this too:

Gentri said...

WOW!!! Loved this post... creepy and I'd never heard the first one before. Loving your blog. You are super talented!

Elisha Lynn said...

I love this post! The villains never get a shout out, even though they are often well developed characters. The Sea Witch from TLM is my favorite, I sang her solo song as my audition for choir in high school!

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